The human species has overcome a great many things to be in our current position. We may joke but it’s amazing that we have a command of nature to the extent we do. It allows us to focus less on survival and more on advancement.
The advancement of acceptance and the ideas around it moves us to a better future. That was until recently. Recently we have become hypersensitive reactionists. We no longer accept an apology, what you said defiantly meant what I thought and what I thought was horrible.
Society is as outraged at a pen company making pink pens for women as it is that women are paid less than men. By the way I know a lot of women who absolutely loved those pens, the reason they made them is there was a market for it.
This hypersensitivity is exhausting, and turns people away from important causes. If you get as upset about pens as you do wage inequality, is wage inequality really that bad? If your behaviour is juvenile then should we really listen?
There have been times when this hypersensitivity woke up my argumentative side. Someone being hypersensitive makes me want to disagree with them, even though I agree with the higher principle. I walk away from my devices and take a breath.
When I take my breath these are the three reasons I come to for why it annoys me so much.
Our Big 3 hypersensitivity thoughts:
1. Avoidance does not eradicate.
This idea that you should never experience discomfort is ridiculous. The real world can be horrendous, and your beliefs do not make the real world different just because you believe them. There will always be racist, sexist and bigoted people, because there will always be stupid people.
If you close yourself off to offence then you are performing reverse exposure therapy. Where your ability to deal with situations is diminished. To the point where you lose your shit over a set of pens.
Avoidance doesn’t eradicate the people who share the opposing view either. It allows them to flourish if anything. Because only if they enter your sphere will you notice them. By setting up these barriers of avoidance you make yourself more sensitive, to where you cannot deal with life. Cannot take a joke without creating a petition.
If your every knee jerk reaction is to proclaim pink pens as an example of patriarchy and you want to take out your protesting boards. Maybe you need to look at where you spend your energy.
Avoidance only hurts you, building your resilience is what is necessary. If you can’t tell the difference between humour exposing the absurdities of prejudice and prejudice itself. Perhaps you need to take a big cup of concrete and harden the fuck up. The world only gets worse from there.
2. Your feelings are not my fault.
The idea that I am responsible for your feelings is erroneous. If you are upset, that is your choice. You can choose to overreact to a joke or think to yourself that’s stupid. Putting the responsibility on me for your feelings, gives me way to much credit.
Our society needs to stop being such sensitive little butterflies. It is your responsibility to deal with the world. Your inability to take a joke is not my fault, its yours. Your feelings are yours, me hurting them is your fault. If you have not built your resistance enough than you need some work. The world is full of bad things, with the intention to hurt you.
Giving the responsibility for your feelings to me also gives up a great deal of power. If it is I who has the power to make you feel bad or good, you’re going to be upset. A great deal of the time I will offend you. If it’s up to me, your feelings that is, than I choose for you to be upset.
Why you might ask, why are you such an asshole? Because your neediness to always be considered is narcissism in the highest form. That you think you are more important than me, that your feelings more important than mine makes you a narcissist. You do not deserve more consideration than any other person.
If you’re upset than that’s your fault. Perhaps your parents should take some responsibility too. Because they did not raise you with the ability to handle the world and really what else is more important.
3. You invalidate your cause.
The hypersensitive and the way they employ their techniques invalidates their causes. They act like brats not getting their way, unable to negotiate democracies. If you ever wonder why bad things keep happening it’s because bad people don’t get upset over the colour of pens.
You fight against people whose tolerances are higher and wonder why you walk away feeling defeated. It is easy to win an argument against the hypersensitive. You get them upset and they behave in a ridiculous fashion.
The other problem is equivalency. The hypersensitive are usually trying to defend issues I believe in. The problem I see is that you make little tiny issues seem as big as big issues, hence giving them equivalency. Again pens=pay inequality.
What this does to the majority is make them think your issue can’t be that bad. What kind of loon gets upset about pens? Well the same that gets upset about pay inequality so they must both be stupid. If you are a person not focussed on the issue than you don’t dig deep and just look at the hypersensitive reactions.
The bad guys, those who want to discriminate sit back and throw out these little stupid issues. While you are protesting pens and god knows what, they are in the background building up their support. Do you really want to be associated with people who cry about pens.
By not being able to manage your outrage you make everything outrageous. Then you make everything equal, should pens and pay discrimination be equal?
This is the reason I believe feminism is having an issue getting even women to call themselves feminists. When asked they describe themselves as feminists but won’t call themselves that. I believe it’s because feminism is being aligned to hypersensitivity and that is looked on as petty.
If you keep up with you hypersensitivity you hurt no one but yourself. You can kick and scream about this but the proof is in the non-denominational gender neutral sexual orientation fluid pudding. Surely that didn’t offend anyone, everyone loves pudding.
Oh fuck the diabetics, we’ll use stevia. So close.
Hypersensitivity gives away the power of your feelings to other people. This is dangerous as feelings are incredibly easy to manipulate and it happens to often. Real change comes from reasoned thought and action. Realising there is a certain amount of capital that your cause has and that runs out quickly.
The most concerning is that your hypersensitivity will cause you to put a dangerous lens on the world. You will make the real inequality out of focus by your outrage at little incidences. You will be outraged by all which tends to paralyse.
If society believes you to be overreacting, then they will lose faith in your cause. It is all marketing, the facts matter less in the current climate. The fact is feminism is equality but many don’t believe it to be true. Many of those woman.
Some of the woman in my life, who I consider to be incredibly smart don’t call themselves feminists. They don’t want you fighting on their behalf, your outrages they consider ridiculous.
If your actions make those for and against the issue believe it wrong, how does your hypersensitive serve you. If your response is they need to change get ready for a bumpy ride my friend.
You need to galvanise yourself not weaken. Hypersensitivity will only work to make you less able to engage with real society. Think about your reactions and if you’re honest with yourself, do you think you need to grow up?
Come join the real world, its horrible at times but we could use your help.