It appears that there was a flyer in my area that I and the sane people, who suffer these Reverse Parkers (RP), missed. I must have also missed the memo that said we were now driving bumper cars. This is evident by the amount of times I am cut off, or someone comes close to hitting me. The amount of times I have yelled “can’t you drive you f**cking idiot” to a blank and mildly confused stare.
Why does it annoy me I hear you ask, well let me tell you:
1. People who reverse park can’t do it.
It is like the belief that you are a good RP makes you instantly a bad one. Seriously, 9 times out of 10 the person attempts to park 3 or 4 times. They do it and are concentrating intensely. Now I’m not a horrible person, I feel for them. If they were trying anything else I would clap for them. I would cheer them on, you go. Trying to better yourself is a fantastic thing but not when it takes this long and you do not get any better at it. More so when it is completely and utterly unnecessary. Honestly, they do it like it is required by law, it is not. You are annoying everyone around you and you don’t even seem phased. Sometimes I get a “sorry I’m trying” wave, stop trying you can barely drive, why would you think you were better backwards?
2. It takes you so long.
You’re bad at it, lets just agree on that. You’re bad at it even though you have a tiny car. Because you are bad at it, it takes you 4 times as long as it would if you parked like a normal person. I am sitting there watching you cock-up that parking job, and usually I am hungry. I also encounter at least two of you geniuses. I am not a patient person at the best of times, when I am hungry it gets worse. Just park normally so I can get my food, is that too much to ask?
3. Its impractical.
This is the one thing that annoys me the most. It’s the sheer illogical nature. I mean I would still be hungry and annoyed if there was logic but there is not, none. When you reverse park you put your boot away from you. Therefore when you come back with your shopping you have to put the trolley in front of your car, and walk your bags around your car and put them in the boot. It makes no sense. Not only that, it takes you forever to do it. You are wasting time again. I have been in and stuffed my face, I have probably eaten too much and now feel tired and ashamed. Why can’t you let me go home?
I have actually seen an idiot reverse park at Bunnings….really you’re at a hardware store and this was your choice. How do you get the wood in the boot, how????
Reverse parking is stupid, it makes no sense and if you do it you’re bad at it. If you have been a RP all these years, there is time for you to change.
Be the change, park like a normal person.
If you do, thank you and if you don’t I’ll be the guy yelling at you.