The Bad Guys Cry
Rating – 2/5
This movie is one to be forgotten, a few years from now you’ll say to yourself what was that like. You’ll watch it and remember why it was so highly forgettable. Not awful just underwhelming and riddled with missed opportunities. As a DC fan I was excited by this movie and it lived up to none of my expectation. It’s not all bad, there is Harley Quinn aka Margot Robbie. This should have been the Harley Movie.
Lets dissect the main characters a little more and understand why it was so underwhelming and why I love Harley Quinn, we will leave her to last to build suspense.
Enchantress/Cara Delevingne: cannot act, none of it was convincing. From the weird British accent that I assume is supposed to show mystical power, because the Queen can time travel didn’t you know.
Then there was her attempt at fear that would be well placed in a high school play. That would be OK if she wasn’t being paid a ridiculous sum, one I refuse to look at lest I develop ulcers. She also had multiple takes and that was the best? Then there was the weird dance moves that were used to summon evil, or the God of the macerena. Imagine your stereotypical Egyptian/Pharoah dancing, if the dancer had arthritis. Her character makes no sense, she escapes even though they have the one thing that should stop her, but you guessed it lazy plot twist.
Rick Flag/Joel Kinnaman: is a typical redneck who joins the army and then becomes real good at killing people. He has a dark past and falls in love. Really bloody boring. The only thing that made him tolerable was that he sounded like Billy Bob Thorton in sling blade, French fried potatoes (thanks Jess). I understood non of what he said.
There is a point where he gets all emotional, there’s a lot of that, and says you’re all free to the bad guys. At that point I would have shot him in the head and gone free. Not these psychotic villains, they grow a responsible heart. Anyone for some french fried patatoes?
Diablo/Jay Hernandez: has the best superpower, FIRE. Instead of him burning everything to a crisp he bitches about why he shouldn’t use his power. I thought the obviously fake tattoos around his eyes were going to run.
Amanda Waller/Viola Davis: on paper she is a bad ass, villain controlling biatch. In this movie you hope the villains kill her. They try to make her character complex but instead it is obvious and uninteresting. She can control a bunch of super villains, I would take over the world but that just me.
Deadshot/Will Smith: it seems like every movie he is in, Will Smith is separated from his child or has a child in unfortunate circumstance. He is then throughout the movie fighting for that child, ditto in this movie. Will Smith is not a villain, Will Smith is always a good guy. It’s a movie about villains, did the writers not get the memo. I am as disappointed with Will Smith in this as I was with Arnold Swatzernegger in Batman. How could one of my favourite actors and genres fail?
Killer Croc/Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje: this character was a filler character, and felt a little racist. I don’t exactly know why but he gave me that feeling. Watch it and you’ll know what I mean.
Boomerang/Jai Courtney: I liked him and think he should have had more screen time. That’s about the extent of the impact he has because he is left as an Aussie comic relief.
Katana/Karen Fukuhara: was a good guy but acted more badass than the rest of the bad guys. They wrote the character like she was a little slow and I feel it was a great disservice. It felt as if it was an addition at the last minute which is a shame. I’d like a standalone movie, as long as it is not written by these guys. Oh and she cries which is not uncommon is this “villain” movie.
Joker/Jared Leto: he is not Heath Ledger.
What is it with Hollywood playing villains outright crazy with as much complexity as white bread. They did it with Lex Luther in Batman v Superman and now this. This joker comes across as a rich kid who has done too much meth.
His love of Harley, while warranted, again denies the complexity of the character. When he dies, I don’t really care, when he comes back I care even less. He has made the joker boring, banal and bratty. The joker should be deranged but charismatic, so you want to follow. I would not follow. Let me be clear I think Jared Leto is good, when he’s not over acting, but in this I don’t quite know what he’s doing.
Harley Quinn/Margot Robbie: she needs her own movie series. Let’s get the obvious out of the way, you are going to be attracted to her, man and women. Her character is infectious and you find yourself waiting for her to be on the screen. She plays crazy right. Apart from the terrible plot points they push her into, she is amazing. I am advocating for the Harley Movie and you should too. She is the only reason to see this movie, and they are lucky to have her.
If you put the character portrayals and questionable acting aside you are left with the writing. The writing did not help the actors. The storyline is weak at best, jumping all over the shop so you understand everyone’s back story. The bad guy being the enchantress was just stupid, you have a massive DC universe to plumb. Also this fear of superman is just getting annoying, it’s the reason for everything in the current DC universe.
Then you have the issue of the main characters, who are villains, being boring. There were so many opportunities to fuck shit up and nope they didn’t. The most embarrassing thing is that at one point they cry. I kid you not, a group of super villains have a heartfelt conversation and they tear up. What the fuck, they are evil you idiots. They are not supposed to be relatable, they are supposed to tickle your most evil desires and make you feel bad about yourself. These guys made me want to kick the person next to me so at least someone in the cinema was bad.
This movie is full of awesome villains made to be heroes, sailing past the opportunity to delve into true badness. The only saving grace is Margot Robbie and Harley, hopefully with a movie to come.
P.S. The trailer if you are interested